28 Weeks - Reflections (thus far)
Officially, it's 28 weeks today. Can you believe it--8 months?! *I* can't believe it, yet here I am. I woke up this morning and was reflecting on my pregnancy thus far...
Knowing that a person's mind has a way of protecting itself, I have no doubt that I may join the ranks of women who don't remember in such vivid detail how badly pregnancy can suck, which leads me to the inspiration for this post...for this blog really. I want to have a record of all (or most) of the things I thought and felt because I suspect my memory will become quite fuzzy and overcome with BABY once he arrives.
For the past week or so, I have done my usual waddle to the bathroom every morning, and when I crawl back in bed, the baby is super-active. He keeps moving and kicking (or punching). I find that I switch sides as often as I can stand it so the activity continues. I've heard other women say that their babies moved so much during the last trimester that it got annoying, and I wholeheartedly believe them. But I also wonder if I will feel the same way since it's my first pregnancy. (I don't remember if the ones giving the opinion were on the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd+ pregnancies.) Each kick that I feel reminds me that he's alive and doing well. This has been a major concern of mine since I read a FB post on my birthing and parenting group that another woman's baby was born "asleep." I found it a nice euphemism, but ultimately, there's no getting around the reality of a stillborn baby. I panicked slightly because the Bebby hadn't been as active that day, so I did the only thing I could. I nudged and prodded and poked my belly until I got a movement response. Probably not the nicest thing to do to someone trying to rest. For the most part--lately--I've been trying to avoid poking him to promote movement, as I wouldn't want to get poked constantly, but the fear that he would be permanently still took precedence. Since reading the "asleep" post, I have doubly enjoyed the movements. A friend at work seems to think that I'm a little crazy about it since eye-rolling and "Oh my god! He's fine!!" comments have become more frequent. That's ok. I don't care what she (or anyone) thinks about this particular thing. I see it as a valid concern, and it's up to me to make sure that there aren't any unusual changes in his activity. I mean, seriously...who else is going to know besides me?? Anyway, the point is I love feeling him move. It's been the best part about being pregnant. And it's been the one thing that helps me deal with all the less-than-pleasant symptoms that are rearing their ugly heads...again...(read--or re-read--my last post for a list of symptoms).
Speaking of reading...I've been reading the book that I received from the Birthing Center when I was about 14 weeks pregnant (finally!) and am wishing I had had the brains/foresight/wisdom (pick one) to begin reading it as soon as I got it. It has covered topics that I have been through....specifically the depression. For me, it was short-lived (end of 1st trimester), but I probably wouldn't have freaked out as I did had I known that it was normal. Same with the loneliness and isolated feeling I had. I'm only about a third of the way through the book, and it's helped me understand that everything I've thought and felt is considered normal. Whew! It really is a relief to know that. For those of you reading this who are thinking about getting pregnant or want to be pregnant someday, here's the book (and a link to the Amazon.com page for it: Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth - The Boston Women's Health Book Collective. I do not recommend the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. It's the book mentioned/referenced in many a movie and was the only one of which I had any knowledge when I first found out I was pregnant. I wanted to read it, but the more I talked to people who had already been preggers and who had read it, they all recommended to stay away and don't read it. I believed them. The midwives at the Birthing Center also recommended against it. Their reasoning for this opinion was that it's fear-based. It goes through all the things that could go wrong with pregnancy and warns against doing anything that could lead to the worst-case scenario. Well, obviously, you don't want to do any of those things, but the last thing you need or want is to have your worries increased tenfold. Being prepared and informed is really the only cure for fear and worry, so I definitely recommend other resources that are not fear-based.
Another book I read recently is Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. This book was recommended to me by a co-worker, and her warning was that it's R-rated, crass, but really funny. She was right. It's a quick read and well-worth the time to read it. Prior to being pregnant, I found that mothers (any mother really...who wasn't currently pregnant, I mean) toned down what pregnancy is really like. I felt that the support I was getting bordered on indifference, and comments like "Enjoy this time" made me feel guilty for hating pregnancy. So, naturally, I came to resent any feedback of this type this during my 1st trimester. Was I already a bad mother? I hated being pregnant, so I hated my baby, right? (Like that's sound logic...) Oh, the emotional roller coaster! The sad part was that I felt like nearly every woman I spoke to who had been through it had this advice to share. I felt like I was constantly complaining (which I probably was), but as I spoke to women who were more recently pregnant (like in the last 3-5 years), there was less indifference and more sympathy. That was nice, but it wasn't until I started finding people who were honest about the horrible things that can happen (and did happen to them) did I finally start to relax and relate to the world again. So 3-4 months later, wisdom and understand have set in. What I thought was indifference from the early support was probably more a product of memory--or lack thereof. They probably didn't remember each individual symptom and exactly how bad it was for them, or they didn't experience that particular symptom. I've also heard that the actual birth of the baby (when s/he is physically in your arms) makes you forget the bad stuff leading up to that moment. Either way, it was definitely helpful to find those women who remember the bad stuff and are willing to share it with others. Let me tell you now, I am one of those who will share the bad stuff, and so is Jenny McCarthy. I firmly believe that newly preggo women deserve to know that Pregnancy sucks...mostly. I didn't have it as bad as Jenny did, but on the symptoms that we did share, it was very amusing and reassuring to read her accounts of the experiences. [Disclaimer: Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. Some women don't experience any of the unpleasant symptoms, and for your sake, I hope you are one of these lucky ones. If you are not and must suffer through like the rest of us, I hope you are at least lucky enough to find someone who will tell you how it is without the sugar-coating.]
Knowing that a person's mind has a way of protecting itself, I have no doubt that I may join the ranks of women who don't remember in such vivid detail how badly pregnancy can suck, which leads me to the inspiration for this post...for this blog really. I want to have a record of all (or most) of the things I thought and felt because I suspect my memory will become quite fuzzy and overcome with BABY once he arrives.
For the past week or so, I have done my usual waddle to the bathroom every morning, and when I crawl back in bed, the baby is super-active. He keeps moving and kicking (or punching). I find that I switch sides as often as I can stand it so the activity continues. I've heard other women say that their babies moved so much during the last trimester that it got annoying, and I wholeheartedly believe them. But I also wonder if I will feel the same way since it's my first pregnancy. (I don't remember if the ones giving the opinion were on the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd+ pregnancies.) Each kick that I feel reminds me that he's alive and doing well. This has been a major concern of mine since I read a FB post on my birthing and parenting group that another woman's baby was born "asleep." I found it a nice euphemism, but ultimately, there's no getting around the reality of a stillborn baby. I panicked slightly because the Bebby hadn't been as active that day, so I did the only thing I could. I nudged and prodded and poked my belly until I got a movement response. Probably not the nicest thing to do to someone trying to rest. For the most part--lately--I've been trying to avoid poking him to promote movement, as I wouldn't want to get poked constantly, but the fear that he would be permanently still took precedence. Since reading the "asleep" post, I have doubly enjoyed the movements. A friend at work seems to think that I'm a little crazy about it since eye-rolling and "Oh my god! He's fine!!" comments have become more frequent. That's ok. I don't care what she (or anyone) thinks about this particular thing. I see it as a valid concern, and it's up to me to make sure that there aren't any unusual changes in his activity. I mean, seriously...who else is going to know besides me?? Anyway, the point is I love feeling him move. It's been the best part about being pregnant. And it's been the one thing that helps me deal with all the less-than-pleasant symptoms that are rearing their ugly heads...again...(read--or re-read--my last post for a list of symptoms).
Speaking of reading...I've been reading the book that I received from the Birthing Center when I was about 14 weeks pregnant (finally!) and am wishing I had had the brains/foresight/wisdom (pick one) to begin reading it as soon as I got it. It has covered topics that I have been through....specifically the depression. For me, it was short-lived (end of 1st trimester), but I probably wouldn't have freaked out as I did had I known that it was normal. Same with the loneliness and isolated feeling I had. I'm only about a third of the way through the book, and it's helped me understand that everything I've thought and felt is considered normal. Whew! It really is a relief to know that. For those of you reading this who are thinking about getting pregnant or want to be pregnant someday, here's the book (and a link to the Amazon.com page for it: Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth - The Boston Women's Health Book Collective. I do not recommend the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. It's the book mentioned/referenced in many a movie and was the only one of which I had any knowledge when I first found out I was pregnant. I wanted to read it, but the more I talked to people who had already been preggers and who had read it, they all recommended to stay away and don't read it. I believed them. The midwives at the Birthing Center also recommended against it. Their reasoning for this opinion was that it's fear-based. It goes through all the things that could go wrong with pregnancy and warns against doing anything that could lead to the worst-case scenario. Well, obviously, you don't want to do any of those things, but the last thing you need or want is to have your worries increased tenfold. Being prepared and informed is really the only cure for fear and worry, so I definitely recommend other resources that are not fear-based.
Another book I read recently is Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. This book was recommended to me by a co-worker, and her warning was that it's R-rated, crass, but really funny. She was right. It's a quick read and well-worth the time to read it. Prior to being pregnant, I found that mothers (any mother really...who wasn't currently pregnant, I mean) toned down what pregnancy is really like. I felt that the support I was getting bordered on indifference, and comments like "Enjoy this time" made me feel guilty for hating pregnancy. So, naturally, I came to resent any feedback of this type this during my 1st trimester. Was I already a bad mother? I hated being pregnant, so I hated my baby, right? (Like that's sound logic...) Oh, the emotional roller coaster! The sad part was that I felt like nearly every woman I spoke to who had been through it had this advice to share. I felt like I was constantly complaining (which I probably was), but as I spoke to women who were more recently pregnant (like in the last 3-5 years), there was less indifference and more sympathy. That was nice, but it wasn't until I started finding people who were honest about the horrible things that can happen (and did happen to them) did I finally start to relax and relate to the world again. So 3-4 months later, wisdom and understand have set in. What I thought was indifference from the early support was probably more a product of memory--or lack thereof. They probably didn't remember each individual symptom and exactly how bad it was for them, or they didn't experience that particular symptom. I've also heard that the actual birth of the baby (when s/he is physically in your arms) makes you forget the bad stuff leading up to that moment. Either way, it was definitely helpful to find those women who remember the bad stuff and are willing to share it with others. Let me tell you now, I am one of those who will share the bad stuff, and so is Jenny McCarthy. I firmly believe that newly preggo women deserve to know that Pregnancy sucks...mostly. I didn't have it as bad as Jenny did, but on the symptoms that we did share, it was very amusing and reassuring to read her accounts of the experiences. [Disclaimer: Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. Some women don't experience any of the unpleasant symptoms, and for your sake, I hope you are one of these lucky ones. If you are not and must suffer through like the rest of us, I hope you are at least lucky enough to find someone who will tell you how it is without the sugar-coating.]
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