Week 13 - Depression...What depression?
I had my first appointment at the birthing center today. It was awesome! The nurse practitioner was really great and took the time to ask questions and listen to my medical history. They advertise that they offer a more personal experience, and they delivered (in my book). I definitely prefer the birthing center over the OB/GYN, and I hope I get to stay...(and don't "risk out").
Dave & I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat this morning. It was amazing! I was struggling with the aftermath of the first trimester, but getting to hear the steady thrum and pulsing coming from my abdomen almost made me cry. The NP said the heartbeat was about 160 bpm, which is normal and healthy. My next appointment is in 4 weeks, which will put me at 17 weeks and puts us a week from the next ultrasound (where we find out the gender and they check the baby's anatomy for possible defects). Hearing the baby's heartbeat made me realize more than anything else thus far that there is actually a little person in there and I'm not just going through the first trimester misery for nothing.
It's hard to explain exactly how there is such a disconnect between knowing there's a life growing inside of you and the woes of pregnancy, but there is...at least, there was a disconnect for me. I think it has something to do with delayed gratification, which is something I have always struggled with...as I'm more of an "instant" gratification person. Babies are definitely delayed gratification. As strange as this is to say, I feel more connected now than I ever did, and it makes me look forward to the first time I feel the baby kick and/or move.
**********
This week has also been really great because each day I feel slightly better than the previous one. Yesterday, I took some "mental health" time in the morning and went to work about 2 hours late. Let me just say that it was one of the best decisions I could have made. I only slept in about 30 minutes, but I was able to get up, cook myself some breakfast, get some computer stuff done, and go by the bank all before heading into work. I was not rushed, nor was I resentful of going in to the office. It made for the start of a great day and what is hopefully the upswing that is the 2nd trimester.
Today was awesome too. My appointment was at 9:30 in the morning, so I took the morning off. Again, I slept in and took my time getting ready. It was a low-stress morning and made me consider asking if I can shift my start time to a little later in the morning. I'm not really willing to give up my half-day Fridays, so I probably won't change my schedule, but it's comforting to think about it.
The word of my pregnancy has started to spread at work. Someone asked me about it: "So, Mellanie, I hear you have big news and 'Congratulations' are in order." I confirmed, and everyone who was standing around the table heard it. I even had someone tell me, "Now why didn't you come and tell me?" Hehe... I also had a couple people tell me that they were wondering if I was pregnant because I was gaining some weight and they knew that I worked out regularly. The inner dialogue in response to questions/comments like that always make me laugh.
So I've been trying to find a prenatal yoga class in Raleigh that I can attend, now that some of my energy is returning. I found one online, but when I arrived at the start time, I learned that the posting I found is super-old and that class is no longer offered. They don't really have a prenatal yoga class. Ugh. The classes offered at Rex Wellness Center only have openings for 15 people, and I didn't even find out about it until after it was already full and during a time when I didn't have the energy to drive there much less participate in it. I'm going to keep looking, though. I'm sure I'll find one eventually.
Anyway, I was determined to workout tonight and didn't want to just go home without any sort of exercise. It was a little before 8:00 so I decided that I could make it to a KB class. I was already in North Raleigh, so it was a short drive to Master Lee's. This turned out to be a wonderful decision. I had forgotten how much fun that class is and what a great workout it can be. I kept my participation to low-impact as much as possible, but I still got to do some of the combinations on the (punching) bag. I focused on keeping my heart rate elevated, but not too high. My cardiovascular endurance could use a lot more work because I got winded long before my muscles even started feeling the work. After class, one of my TKD friends stayed for a few minutes and helped me remember the TKD forms I was working on before I stopped attending classes. To my amazement, I could still do about 95% of the forms I remember, and on a couple of them, it was complete muscle memory. I lost count several times, but I knew what came next without having to think about it. I had forgotten how great a workout just doing the forms are, though! I was sweating more from doing 7 different forms back-to-back than from the 45-min KB class.
The "high" after working out has always been my favorite thing about exercise. I got home and probably talked Dave's ear off because I feel amazingly wonderful! I actually had the energy to go to a cardio kickboxing class!!! After about 9 weeks of near-constant lack-of-energy (i.e. misery), being able to do something so high energy was fun and a much-needed boost for my psyche.
And having said that, I think I have officially wound down, and now I'm tired. (The one downside of having KB class from 8:15-9:00... it takes over an hour to calm down from the rush.)
Dave & I got to listen to the baby's heartbeat this morning. It was amazing! I was struggling with the aftermath of the first trimester, but getting to hear the steady thrum and pulsing coming from my abdomen almost made me cry. The NP said the heartbeat was about 160 bpm, which is normal and healthy. My next appointment is in 4 weeks, which will put me at 17 weeks and puts us a week from the next ultrasound (where we find out the gender and they check the baby's anatomy for possible defects). Hearing the baby's heartbeat made me realize more than anything else thus far that there is actually a little person in there and I'm not just going through the first trimester misery for nothing.
It's hard to explain exactly how there is such a disconnect between knowing there's a life growing inside of you and the woes of pregnancy, but there is...at least, there was a disconnect for me. I think it has something to do with delayed gratification, which is something I have always struggled with...as I'm more of an "instant" gratification person. Babies are definitely delayed gratification. As strange as this is to say, I feel more connected now than I ever did, and it makes me look forward to the first time I feel the baby kick and/or move.
**********
This week has also been really great because each day I feel slightly better than the previous one. Yesterday, I took some "mental health" time in the morning and went to work about 2 hours late. Let me just say that it was one of the best decisions I could have made. I only slept in about 30 minutes, but I was able to get up, cook myself some breakfast, get some computer stuff done, and go by the bank all before heading into work. I was not rushed, nor was I resentful of going in to the office. It made for the start of a great day and what is hopefully the upswing that is the 2nd trimester.
Today was awesome too. My appointment was at 9:30 in the morning, so I took the morning off. Again, I slept in and took my time getting ready. It was a low-stress morning and made me consider asking if I can shift my start time to a little later in the morning. I'm not really willing to give up my half-day Fridays, so I probably won't change my schedule, but it's comforting to think about it.
The word of my pregnancy has started to spread at work. Someone asked me about it: "So, Mellanie, I hear you have big news and 'Congratulations' are in order." I confirmed, and everyone who was standing around the table heard it. I even had someone tell me, "Now why didn't you come and tell me?" Hehe... I also had a couple people tell me that they were wondering if I was pregnant because I was gaining some weight and they knew that I worked out regularly. The inner dialogue in response to questions/comments like that always make me laugh.
So I've been trying to find a prenatal yoga class in Raleigh that I can attend, now that some of my energy is returning. I found one online, but when I arrived at the start time, I learned that the posting I found is super-old and that class is no longer offered. They don't really have a prenatal yoga class. Ugh. The classes offered at Rex Wellness Center only have openings for 15 people, and I didn't even find out about it until after it was already full and during a time when I didn't have the energy to drive there much less participate in it. I'm going to keep looking, though. I'm sure I'll find one eventually.
Anyway, I was determined to workout tonight and didn't want to just go home without any sort of exercise. It was a little before 8:00 so I decided that I could make it to a KB class. I was already in North Raleigh, so it was a short drive to Master Lee's. This turned out to be a wonderful decision. I had forgotten how much fun that class is and what a great workout it can be. I kept my participation to low-impact as much as possible, but I still got to do some of the combinations on the (punching) bag. I focused on keeping my heart rate elevated, but not too high. My cardiovascular endurance could use a lot more work because I got winded long before my muscles even started feeling the work. After class, one of my TKD friends stayed for a few minutes and helped me remember the TKD forms I was working on before I stopped attending classes. To my amazement, I could still do about 95% of the forms I remember, and on a couple of them, it was complete muscle memory. I lost count several times, but I knew what came next without having to think about it. I had forgotten how great a workout just doing the forms are, though! I was sweating more from doing 7 different forms back-to-back than from the 45-min KB class.
The "high" after working out has always been my favorite thing about exercise. I got home and probably talked Dave's ear off because I feel amazingly wonderful! I actually had the energy to go to a cardio kickboxing class!!! After about 9 weeks of near-constant lack-of-energy (i.e. misery), being able to do something so high energy was fun and a much-needed boost for my psyche.
And having said that, I think I have officially wound down, and now I'm tired. (The one downside of having KB class from 8:15-9:00... it takes over an hour to calm down from the rush.)
Woo hoo! So glad to hear you're getting energy back, AND being active! I know that's got to feel awesome. :)
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