33 Weeks - Contrast
I had read somewhere (don't remember the source--sorry) that pregnancy symptoms don't seem so bad if you accept them. I suppose I agree with this because in the first couple weeks of the 3rd trimester, I nearly had an emotional breakdown because I went from the 2nd-trimester-honeymoon-period to 3rd-trimester-feeling-miserable-again almost overnight. Now, that I'm staring at another 6.5 weeks of 3rd trimester, the prospect doesn't seem so bleak. Truthfully, I'm not really looking forward to the physical discomforts, but it's par for the course. That's pretty much it.
During work days, I get asked several times 'How you feeling?' or 'How you holding up?' and I no longer feel the need to lie and say fine. I give whatever the true answer is at that moment. Sometimes, it's "I'm doing great right now" and other times it's "I'm ok." Sometimes, it's even "Awful." I think the real answer is plastered on my face (no, I don't play Poker), and it amuses me when people stop me to comment on my blatant discomfort. Though, I'm physically hurting, I am laughing on the inside. How strange.
That dichotomy (hehe--I was an English major) struck me loud and clear the other night. Dave & I had just gotten home from our birthing class and grabbed a bite to eat before turning in. I sat looking at him across the table and realized that though my body felt miserable (tight belly, sore left hip, squished bladder, and gas pain), I was simply happy. I loved his company. I loved knowing that we're gonna have a newborn baby soon. I loved the new life that is about to begin. And I felt all these things while also inwardly cursing the pains of pregnancy. What a contrast. Perhaps that IS part of the balance in Life. How can anyone know happiness and joy if they've never known sadness and sorrow?
I suppose that later on--well after the baby is born--I will look back on this time with amusement and fondness. It's hard to say since it's a first-time experience for me and I'm currently in-the-moment. But as much as I've whined and moaned and complained about the woes of pregnancy, a part of me does love growing a human. I love feeling my baby shift positions, and I like to think that when he chooses an awkward position that makes the right side of my belly protrude oddly (and hurt) and I politely ask him out loud to please move and readjust, that he can hear me. He does move eventually (of course, with a little massage and gentle coaxing) and he seems to respond to my voice and external sounds.
It's getting to the point where I am totally ready to meet this little guy. What does he look like? Who will he resemble? At my prenatal appointments, the midwives often say that he's a happy baby. I go through my laundry list of symptoms (complaints), and they smile, nod, and say that everything sounds normal. My last appointment was Tuesday, and my blood pressure was normal, heart rate normal, weight gain was fine, and baby's heart rate was in the 140s bpm. All seems to be well. Baby's head is down (waaaay down if you ask me...based on where she had to touch me to cradle his head), and I can't help but wonder if little William is going to make his appearance before his due date. Hard to say because I have been carrying low nearly all of the last few weeks/months.
Anyway... That's all I wanted to say for tonight, folks. G'night!
During work days, I get asked several times 'How you feeling?' or 'How you holding up?' and I no longer feel the need to lie and say fine. I give whatever the true answer is at that moment. Sometimes, it's "I'm doing great right now" and other times it's "I'm ok." Sometimes, it's even "Awful." I think the real answer is plastered on my face (no, I don't play Poker), and it amuses me when people stop me to comment on my blatant discomfort. Though, I'm physically hurting, I am laughing on the inside. How strange.
That dichotomy (hehe--I was an English major) struck me loud and clear the other night. Dave & I had just gotten home from our birthing class and grabbed a bite to eat before turning in. I sat looking at him across the table and realized that though my body felt miserable (tight belly, sore left hip, squished bladder, and gas pain), I was simply happy. I loved his company. I loved knowing that we're gonna have a newborn baby soon. I loved the new life that is about to begin. And I felt all these things while also inwardly cursing the pains of pregnancy. What a contrast. Perhaps that IS part of the balance in Life. How can anyone know happiness and joy if they've never known sadness and sorrow?
I suppose that later on--well after the baby is born--I will look back on this time with amusement and fondness. It's hard to say since it's a first-time experience for me and I'm currently in-the-moment. But as much as I've whined and moaned and complained about the woes of pregnancy, a part of me does love growing a human. I love feeling my baby shift positions, and I like to think that when he chooses an awkward position that makes the right side of my belly protrude oddly (and hurt) and I politely ask him out loud to please move and readjust, that he can hear me. He does move eventually (of course, with a little massage and gentle coaxing) and he seems to respond to my voice and external sounds.
It's getting to the point where I am totally ready to meet this little guy. What does he look like? Who will he resemble? At my prenatal appointments, the midwives often say that he's a happy baby. I go through my laundry list of symptoms (complaints), and they smile, nod, and say that everything sounds normal. My last appointment was Tuesday, and my blood pressure was normal, heart rate normal, weight gain was fine, and baby's heart rate was in the 140s bpm. All seems to be well. Baby's head is down (waaaay down if you ask me...based on where she had to touch me to cradle his head), and I can't help but wonder if little William is going to make his appearance before his due date. Hard to say because I have been carrying low nearly all of the last few weeks/months.
Anyway... That's all I wanted to say for tonight, folks. G'night!
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