Week 6 - The nausea just begins?

Today is roughly the beginning of Week 6 and I had a bad run-in with nausea.  It wasn't just bad...it was plain awful.  I was uncomfortable and the queasiness almost made me pack up my stuff and drive home.  I just wanted to put my head down and sleep or cry, but since I was at work, neither was really an option.  Eventually, I tried a small piece of sugar-free candy, which helped a little while I had something in my mouth, but when it was gone, the nausea returned.  Luckily, I brought some of my mom's chicken soup with me to work, and that basically eased the queasiness.

More of that soup and some spinach salad may be my choices for dinner, but I worry that it'll make me feel bad again.  Honestly, I don't understand why this part is so unpleasant.  I want to enjoy the pregnancy and all the stages, but it's really hard to embrace something when it makes you feel so absolutely terrible.  Enduring is more what it feels like right now.

Thinking back to my first pregnancy ought to put things in perspective.  About this time in January, I started bleeding.  I worry that will happen again with this pregnancy.  On one hand, I would rather be queasy and still be pregnant than go through another miscarriage.  The emotional backlash is quite worse than the nausea.  Don't get me wrong.  On the other hand, both options are unpleasant.  But honestly, I would choose nausea over emotional depression.  Guess that solves one internal debate.

Aside from the bad pregnancy symptoms--exhaustion, tender achy breasts, mild constipation, mild cramping, chronic nausea--I love being pregnant.  I love the thought that there's a baby growing inside me, and I can hardly contain my excitement over seeing the baby on the ultrasound.  I'm scared that I won't be a good mother, but I suppose that's normal.

My life is going to take such a huge turn that I look forward to it and am terrified all at the same time.  I am contemplating giving up my 9-to-5 job after the baby is born.  I want to treasure those few short years when he or she is growing up, and I am pretty sure that nothing is going to change at the Farm.  I've been there a decade, and very little has changed.

Well, the nausea is back.  Time to find some dinner.