32 Weeks - Getting Bigger and Growing a Baby
FYI: This week's picture has been posted.
The challenge for me this week is learning to constantly adjust to growing in size. You would think that after 8+ months of doing just that--getting bigger--I'd be used to it, but I'm not. It's just hard.
It's hard because...
Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions (at least I hope that's what they are) are becoming a nuisance. They keep faking me out. I think it's the baby moving and pushing outwards with his butt or something, but then when the knot on my belly doesn't move or shift or release within about 5-10 seconds, I realize that it's actually a BH contraction and all there is to do is sit and wait for it to pass. Many a pregnancy website say that it's good to feel BH contractions in the 3rd trimester because it means that the uterus is preparing itself for labor/delivery/birth. Woohoo! Of course, the reality of that is that the moment is really approaching. It's scary. I find myself worrying in the quiet moments where nothing is distracting me, and I'm beginning to think that it's making me feel nauseated. I am *really* worried about this, and there seems to be no relief from this anxiety. On the one hand, it's silly to constantly worry over something where you have no control. On the other, it's natural to feel anxiety over a new experience. But on the third hand (a foot, perhaps?), I probably feel nauseated because I'm hungry.
Maybe the real truth of the matter is that I fear the emotional journey of giving birth to a baby. Pain, joy, and relief all rolled in to one grand experience. What if I fail? (I know...how stupid is that?) How does someone fail at that? Anyway... Rationally, I know it doesn't make much sense, but Fear has an odd way of manifesting itself.
******
My brain went off on another tangent, which resulted in the latest post on my non-baby blog (click here to read it). Now that I'm coming back to this post, I have lost the train of thought for what is above the asterisks and no longer want to focus on the fear of it all.
I try to notice patterns, and I'm seeing that I feel worst when the Bebby hits a growth spurt inside the womb. He's growing so quickly that I can't adjust fast enough. The transition my body has to go through to accommodate his rapidly increasing size takes its toll, and sorry to whomever my loss of patience lands on. I try to filter what I say on days I am struggling, but even that ability diminishes when having to cope with GROWING A BABY.
At 32 weeks, I'm becoming anxious about this baby popping out early. I'm tired of being pregnant, but also realize that 8 weeks early isn't exactly full-term. When I think of it from that perspective, being preggers isn't *that* bad... until I get another dose of 3rd Trimester Unpleasantries. Having said that, I'm going to try to sleep soon. Let me just say "thanks for Tums" because they help make what I am recognizing as heartburn (an unpleasantry) go away...or at least subside so I can rest.
Sleeping--rather getting up and down from the bed is becoming an ordeal. It's really hard to shift from horizontal to vertical when there is pressure on the abdomen, and most especially when the bladder is full and about to burst. (I think I said this before, but it's worth mentioning again because it makes the wee hours of morning un-fun.)
The sore boobs are back. Okay...it's not really the whole boob, just the nipple. I'm beginning to think that the tiny bit of stimulation they get from rubbing up against whatever clothing I happen to be wearing is causing the BH contractions. That may not be true in the slightest, but it hurts, is annoying, and I'm worried that they are going to start leaking soon...and at the most inopportune time... Like when I am in a meeting at work and have no way to take care of the problem other than going home and changing clothes....which would encourage me not to return to the office. (sorry for the run-on sentence)
The Bebby is sitting across my hips again, which makes me hurt AND look crooked. It'd be easier on me if he would turn vertical, with his head down and stay that way, so I constantly ask him to do so. He doesn't oblige much, and I'm told I should get used to this. Heh. He does move quite a lot, and Dave gets to feel him move on a fairly regular basis. It's fun to watch Dave's reaction when the baby kicks really hard. Sometimes, I wince and he smiles. I have been able to discern a foot, a knee, and a hand. Not at the same time, of course, but every once in a while, my hand will be on my belly and he'll move in such a way that I can tell the shape of what is moving. That is really interesting and addicting. It makes me very eager to meet this little guy and watch him move when he has ample amounts of room to move.
Oh. My recent craving for the week is goat cheese. I can't get enough of the stuff. I definitely need to cut back on the dairy (cause it's just basically sugar), but something about the flavor of goat cheese just calls to me. It's good on bread or crackers, licked off a spoon, on hot veggies, with eggs, or on a pizza. I know this because that's all the ways I've had it this weekend. The flavors I got to enjoy were Chipotle Garlic, Black Cherry and Almond, and Plain. They were all good, and I can't decide which was my favorite. I'm ready to stock up on more, but it goes so fast that it might be smarter to wait until next weekend before I have more. My nutritionist is probably going to give me "that look" that says I'm gaining too much weight, but oh well. She can join the rest of the Peanut Gallery that implies that constantly.
The challenge for me this week is learning to constantly adjust to growing in size. You would think that after 8+ months of doing just that--getting bigger--I'd be used to it, but I'm not. It's just hard.
It's hard because...
- I'm uncomfortable.
- Spots on my tummy tighten when I don't expect it.
- The baby rumbles around and pushes on places that are already sore and beaten up since he kicks the same place(s) over and over.
- The baby sits or pushes on my bladder and makes it feel full when it really isn't...and making the trek to the bathroom isn't always worth it (for the drip-drip-drip tinkles).
- The sites where there are now stretch marks itch.
- Boobs are getting to be super-sensitive again, yet I keep bumping things into them. (AND I think they are on the verge of "leaking" soon)
- I want to cat-nap every 2-3 hours.
- I want to eat constantly.
Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions (at least I hope that's what they are) are becoming a nuisance. They keep faking me out. I think it's the baby moving and pushing outwards with his butt or something, but then when the knot on my belly doesn't move or shift or release within about 5-10 seconds, I realize that it's actually a BH contraction and all there is to do is sit and wait for it to pass. Many a pregnancy website say that it's good to feel BH contractions in the 3rd trimester because it means that the uterus is preparing itself for labor/delivery/birth. Woohoo! Of course, the reality of that is that the moment is really approaching. It's scary. I find myself worrying in the quiet moments where nothing is distracting me, and I'm beginning to think that it's making me feel nauseated. I am *really* worried about this, and there seems to be no relief from this anxiety. On the one hand, it's silly to constantly worry over something where you have no control. On the other, it's natural to feel anxiety over a new experience. But on the third hand (a foot, perhaps?), I probably feel nauseated because I'm hungry.
Maybe the real truth of the matter is that I fear the emotional journey of giving birth to a baby. Pain, joy, and relief all rolled in to one grand experience. What if I fail? (I know...how stupid is that?) How does someone fail at that? Anyway... Rationally, I know it doesn't make much sense, but Fear has an odd way of manifesting itself.
******
My brain went off on another tangent, which resulted in the latest post on my non-baby blog (click here to read it). Now that I'm coming back to this post, I have lost the train of thought for what is above the asterisks and no longer want to focus on the fear of it all.
I try to notice patterns, and I'm seeing that I feel worst when the Bebby hits a growth spurt inside the womb. He's growing so quickly that I can't adjust fast enough. The transition my body has to go through to accommodate his rapidly increasing size takes its toll, and sorry to whomever my loss of patience lands on. I try to filter what I say on days I am struggling, but even that ability diminishes when having to cope with GROWING A BABY.
At 32 weeks, I'm becoming anxious about this baby popping out early. I'm tired of being pregnant, but also realize that 8 weeks early isn't exactly full-term. When I think of it from that perspective, being preggers isn't *that* bad... until I get another dose of 3rd Trimester Unpleasantries. Having said that, I'm going to try to sleep soon. Let me just say "thanks for Tums" because they help make what I am recognizing as heartburn (an unpleasantry) go away...or at least subside so I can rest.
Sleeping--rather getting up and down from the bed is becoming an ordeal. It's really hard to shift from horizontal to vertical when there is pressure on the abdomen, and most especially when the bladder is full and about to burst. (I think I said this before, but it's worth mentioning again because it makes the wee hours of morning un-fun.)
The sore boobs are back. Okay...it's not really the whole boob, just the nipple. I'm beginning to think that the tiny bit of stimulation they get from rubbing up against whatever clothing I happen to be wearing is causing the BH contractions. That may not be true in the slightest, but it hurts, is annoying, and I'm worried that they are going to start leaking soon...and at the most inopportune time... Like when I am in a meeting at work and have no way to take care of the problem other than going home and changing clothes....which would encourage me not to return to the office. (sorry for the run-on sentence)
The Bebby is sitting across my hips again, which makes me hurt AND look crooked. It'd be easier on me if he would turn vertical, with his head down and stay that way, so I constantly ask him to do so. He doesn't oblige much, and I'm told I should get used to this. Heh. He does move quite a lot, and Dave gets to feel him move on a fairly regular basis. It's fun to watch Dave's reaction when the baby kicks really hard. Sometimes, I wince and he smiles. I have been able to discern a foot, a knee, and a hand. Not at the same time, of course, but every once in a while, my hand will be on my belly and he'll move in such a way that I can tell the shape of what is moving. That is really interesting and addicting. It makes me very eager to meet this little guy and watch him move when he has ample amounts of room to move.
Oh. My recent craving for the week is goat cheese. I can't get enough of the stuff. I definitely need to cut back on the dairy (cause it's just basically sugar), but something about the flavor of goat cheese just calls to me. It's good on bread or crackers, licked off a spoon, on hot veggies, with eggs, or on a pizza. I know this because that's all the ways I've had it this weekend. The flavors I got to enjoy were Chipotle Garlic, Black Cherry and Almond, and Plain. They were all good, and I can't decide which was my favorite. I'm ready to stock up on more, but it goes so fast that it might be smarter to wait until next weekend before I have more. My nutritionist is probably going to give me "that look" that says I'm gaining too much weight, but oh well. She can join the rest of the Peanut Gallery that implies that constantly.
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