Not Coming Soon

Or not.  I've been bleeding (and cramping) since Monday, which worried me, so I called the doctor's office to get checked out.  Dave & I went today, and the doc did a vaginal ultrasound.  The doc wasn't optimistic about this pregnancy.  She said that the fetus should be bigger for being nearly 7 weeks pregnant, and given the bleeding and cramping, she thinks I will probably miscarry if I haven't already. They drew blood today to see exactly how far along I am, and she asked me to go in again on Sunday so they can draw blood again and compare the change in hormone level over 2 days.

I am sad at the news, but a part of me is amazed at how the body--Nature--monitors itself.  Putting together another person is no small thing, and if one little thing doesn't go right, the body somehow knows and can stop the process before going any further.  It's rather efficient, if you think about it.

Maybe I'm just coping, but honestly, I'd rather miscarry early rather than later.  As of right now, I'm still pregnant, but I feel like my body is already in the process of miscarriage.  I'm ok with that, but I'm ready to feel better already.