Parenthood and Purpose
My son will be 11 weeks old tomorrow. He is nearly 2 feet long now (19 inches at birth), and today, while he was sleeping in my lap with his left arm held up (tiny fist and all) next to his head, I took the time to reflect on the moment. This little person is literally growing before my eyes. When I'm sleep-deprived, I'm too tired and impatient to enjoy the beauty and joy of something so fundamental to life. Most of his changes are done while he sleeps, and he actually feels heavier when I pick him up every morning to either feed him or change his diaper. That has yet to cease to amaze me. He is heavier almost every time I pick him up. There is more substance--more baby--to snuggle and hug and kiss and love.
I look forward to times when he can think and talk for himself, but I am definitely not missing out on enjoying the small grunts and coos that he offers up now so unselfconsciously.
He is a beautiful baby--my beautiful baby, and I still have a hard time believing that I grew this little person in my belly. I had very little control over how he was put together, which makes the process even more amazing.
Parenthood (so far) isn't quite what I expected. TV and/or Hollywood and/or mainstream culture had led me to believe that parenting is a struggle. BUT, after nearly 11 weeks of learning to cope with a newborn baby, the parenting part isn't the struggle. The struggle is letting go of my former life as a non-parent. I spent 34 years trying to figure out my place in the world and the meaning and purpose of my life. Well, these puzzles are still there (and will probably be for a long while), but my purpose now is to protect, prepare, and guide this baby...for whatever. Oh, and how could I not have listed this first? ...above all, my purpose is to love him, which at the moment, is quite simple and the best part of my days.
I look forward to times when he can think and talk for himself, but I am definitely not missing out on enjoying the small grunts and coos that he offers up now so unselfconsciously.
He is a beautiful baby--my beautiful baby, and I still have a hard time believing that I grew this little person in my belly. I had very little control over how he was put together, which makes the process even more amazing.
Parenthood (so far) isn't quite what I expected. TV and/or Hollywood and/or mainstream culture had led me to believe that parenting is a struggle. BUT, after nearly 11 weeks of learning to cope with a newborn baby, the parenting part isn't the struggle. The struggle is letting go of my former life as a non-parent. I spent 34 years trying to figure out my place in the world and the meaning and purpose of my life. Well, these puzzles are still there (and will probably be for a long while), but my purpose now is to protect, prepare, and guide this baby...for whatever. Oh, and how could I not have listed this first? ...above all, my purpose is to love him, which at the moment, is quite simple and the best part of my days.
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